God’s Waiting Room

God’s waiting room

I live here

Amongst the old and older.

It is an attractive

Building and grounds.

We are fed and cared for

By loving and competent people.

We make acquaintances

Even close friends.

We help each other

Onto and off the elevator.

Into and out of our chairs

In the dining room.

We help park

Each other’s handicap horses,

Otherwise known as

Walkers or wheelchairs.

We see our dear friends

Gradually or suddenly grow frail.

Our friends stagger or hobble

A little more as days pass by.

Strangers come into our lives.

They become neighbors and friends

They move out of our lives

Suddenly sometimes without warning.

Other times it is a lingering

Sad and heart aching good bye.

The days pass slowly,

Ever so slowly.

Yet in hind sight,

Where has time flown by?

We get involved in activities

Bingo, card games, and trips.

We enjoy the special moments

I would dare say even treasure them.

Then we slink off to our beds

We wash our faces.

We take our meds

Hoping sleep finds us quickly.

And that dreamland lasts

Straight through till sunrise.

Most nights mister Sandman

Comes and goes several times each night.

The best sleep happens

In the early morning after several naps

During the tossing and turning

Of wrestling with mister Sandman.

We find our bodies

Are growing more unreliable

Yes, unreliable. We seem

To be weaker and ill more often.

There are moments when

The veil between today and yesterday

Grows thin and enchanting

Inviting us to ruminate

Even when the time beyond

Calls to us yearningly.

Our time is known here on earth

We are in Gods Waiting room.

Waiting and waiting

Just waiting.

Written: July 26, 2019

I was sitting thinking of our friends and family.

I thought of our loved ones that had left us for

their reward in the afterlife. I am lucky to have

the love of family and friends. I live in a nice

place waiting for my turn to pass over. I am not

sad or unhappy. In fact, I am delighted to be

in this position.

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Veterans Day Parade

Being in a parade

Is different than watching one.

Being the object of admiration

Is different than admiring.

It is unsettling to receive gratitude.

It feels good to show thankfulness.

It is comforting to

Honor a hero.

It is uncomfortable

To receive honors.

We are not good at receiving,

But better at honoring others.

I have met a few heroes.

Yet, none of them thought themselves brave.

To a man each thought,

The heroes were buried beneath their crosses.

Created 11/11/2018

This reflection was created while riding on the Auburn Solstice Senior Community bus

during the Veterans Day Parade on High Street. There were twelve veterans

from World War II, Korean Conflict, and Vietnam War on the bus. It was a small town

parade with the local high school band leading the way.

Humans have a need

10 October Colors 249

Humans have a need
To believe in an intelligence

Behind the creation of our existence.
Belief in an after life or oblivion

For some, it gives reasons to behave
They believe in karma and reincarnation.

Yes, we humans are complex
We are conflicted, warlike

Yet, there are miracles
Of compassion, love, and sacrifice.

I have experienced
The joys and pains of marriage,

I have been hurtful and shamed by it.
I felt lost in heartache or guilt.

But joyful for the fruits
Each child precious beyond measure

I have been sustained
By the feeling of caring

I have been surprised
By deep soul moving love.

I have witnessed
Love in impossible ways

Treasured in memories of good and bad
Preserved through the tribulations

To the joy of perseverance
Onto deep friendship and companionship.

I am a dedicated
People watcher

I have learned many things
I have sifted life’s meaning

Down to a simple thought
Be helpful!

I try to walk the talk
It is a challenge.

 

Created:  September 16, 2017

 

I walk in the forest

Walk Among

Come walk with me.

I walk in the forest

Of human beings

 

Like you, like me

Our friends, our non-friends.

 

They are many and varied

Sizes and shapes.

 

Short legs, short arms and bodies

In endless combinations

 

Skin in shades and colors of bark

Are many as the grains of sands

 

Pale white or yellow

To dusk and even midnight.

 

From homeless and discarded

To rich and empowered

 

Their beliefs in Gods and spirits

Many heartfelt, others heartless.

 

From agnostic to zealot

Evoking love and others hate

 

To walk in this forest

One must be alert and vigilant.

 

 

 

I walk in the forest

Of human beings

 

I have walked amongst humans

For three score and a half more.

 

I became a connoisseur of watching

Sitting unnoticed, but noticing.

 

I found when I scratched someone

They bled like me regardless of skin color

 

The pain and anguish they felt

Was similar to mine.

 

No shape or size

Made any difference.

 

I find the differences

Are to be cherished.

 

I read and viewed media

About senseless aggression

 

Famine, natural disasters

Earthquake, or disease epidemic

 

I have witnessed displacement

A human column of immeasurable grief

 

Suffering starvation

And deprivations

 

Also domestic violence

To terrorism in schools,

 

Revenge or an action

To get attention to a cause.

 

Or war in far-flung nations

Inflicting harm and death.

 

Our little blue marble is cluttered

With collateral damage.

 

Even soldiers afflicted

By PTSD created by chaos of war.

 

Or by the violence in

our neighborhood or home.

 

I physically hurt

When I come into contact

 

In person or via media

I shudder trying to comprehend

 

Both the victims

And perpetrators.

 

I am at a loss

And feel sad and helpless

 

My heart has been

Broken and beaten.

 

 

 

I walk in the forest

Of human beings

 

Yet, I have hope

Even in the darkest moments

 

I wonder where

This optimism comes from

 

 

Created September 15, 2017

 

 

 

What did you say?

Here I stand
On a pillowy white cloud.

There is this guy
With a beard standing here

Looking down into
A big red leather bound book.

He is taking a long time
Turning page after page.

I am hearing
A grunt or two,

But not a word from his lips,
Not a welcome.

I shift from
One foot to the other.

What am I
Doing here?

My last memory
Was slipping and falling.

I begin to worry.
I have so much to do.

If he is not finding
What he is looking for

How will his search
Affect me and my future?

Oh, he signals me
Come closer, step over here.

There is no hint
Of a smile or indication

What the book
Has revealed to him?

With a concerned look
And a shrug of his shoulders

He quietly whispers
So only I could hear.

“I am sorry
I do not have your reservation.

I am sad  to say
You must go…..”

Where did he say
I had to go?

I am definitely going
To get new hearing aids!

Sir, where did you
Say I should go?

Again a little louder he said
“You must go back!”

The cloud turned
A little darker and softer.

I am falling down again
Ouch! Ohhh I hurt all over.

 

Created: September 11, 2017

Image

The Aging Switch

Quality, yes quality,
Each day, each year,
Value of life and loves.
Becoming, yes becoming.

Doing, doing, done.
Living and ever loving
Each day, each year.
Feeling good, being good?

Getting this and that,
Upsizing house,
Even the car,
Or maybe a spouse.

Years upon years,
Even the many decades
Passing by swiftly
Sometimes unnoticed.

An ache and a pain
Could be chronic,
An Illness today, maybe tomorrow.
Plans change again.

Downsizing living,
Giving this and that.
Big things, old things,
Even new stuff.

Giving to my kids,
Selling to others,
Taking just a little,
Just what’s needed today.

Active living, but…
Less, doing less.
More doctors and dentists
Often, more often.

Months upon months
Passing by fast and faster,
I’m moving slower, then slower,
But time moves still faster!

Eat, nap, eat, discovered
Becoming my daily pattern.
So nice, but tired still.
Why is the night longer now?

Imbalance and stagger enters.
My new world changing.
Steps are shorter and slower
Taking longer from here to there

Watching, sitting and reading.
What did you say? Hmm mm
Huh? Please say that again.
Hearing, like agility, disappearing

Frustration unlimited!
Forgetting little things
Progressing to bigger
What did I come in here for

Quality living lesser
Than yesterday again.
Good becoming less.
All becoming lesser.

The end is in sight,
But not in reach.
My aging switch has turned.
Turned to waiting, not doing

Now it begins anew.
When, just when?
Waiting and waiting … still
Impatiently patient.

Days upon months,
Weeks upon years, when?
Waiting still, now impatient
Questioning the why and when.

HE has control of how and when.
My days are fewer in number,
But I wish, at times, many times
I had that control.

Yes, I have switched
From doing to waiting.
The veil between becoming thinner.
Waiting, just waiting … Still.

I have seen the loved ones
Passed over yesteryear and more recently,
Waving or beaconing, I wonder?
Yes, I have switched to impatiently waiting.

Originally created:   July 7, 2016
 

Beginnings


The beginning.

You become.

You are.

You will be.

You will no longer be.

Go back to the beginning!
Originally written: May 4, 2016

My ponderings:  

It seems getting old provides time to think.  I wasn’t even sitting in a rocking chair. I wasn’t watching a beautiful sunrise. I did not listen to the whispering of the breeze through the trees.  I was going about daily life thinking about paying bills, my next meal, and when do I need to take my next pills.  These words came to mind interrupting productive efforts.  I could not get them out of my mind.  As I thought of the simplicity of the phrases, I began to ponder life and it’s phases. I thought I would share them.