I Knock, but the Door Opens Not
- I Knock, but the Door Opens Not.
- How does one cross over to the other side?
- What is the secret of releasing oneself from this mortal being?
- I see my dieing Mother wanting so desperately to cross over.
- Mother has journeyed long.
- Illness has struck her low
- And brought her close to the door.
- There is no turning around.
- The journey’s end is nigh.
- Waiting for release so intense.
- The suffering so great.
- “Please help me! I want to die.”
- My heart breaks as Mom’s has.
- How can I answer this question?
- The answer has been.
- “I do not know,
- but let me hold your hand
- and wait with you.”
- Let us again share our memories.
- Retell family stories.
- Relive pain and joys.
- Celebrate the good times.
- We do not control
- The timing, nor the place.
- We can, only be, patient.
- We can only wait.
- Keep searching,
- Learn Acceptance.
- Keep knocking.
- Learn patience.
- Joy awaits.
- A deep breath.
- And then no more.
- Good bye, my heart.
- Be at peace.
Originally written: June 26, 1995
Updated February 5, 2010
The above was written in memory of Babe Sleighter, my mother-in-law. Babe had a heart attack. The heart was irreparably damaged. She lived on for another 3 weeks. Much of this time in Critical Cardiac Unit of the hospital. It was one of the most difficult moments in my life. Seated beside the bed Babe turned to me and asked “Help me to die. How do I die.” How could I answer her? I could only say I do not know but I will be here to hold your hand. Thank you for reading this posting and understanding…