- For some reason unknown to me at this time when I
hear a poignant story or I see something that tugs on the
emotions, tears come to my eyes, my chest tightens
slightly, and my throat develops a lump.
- I am not unhappy this happens. Feeling emotions are
very special moments. Someone else might cry when
they are physically hurt. I have not. I cannot say about
the future hurts, but the breaks, sprains, migraines, or
back problems have not brought the tears.
- Tears come rolling forth at moments when love is
exquisitely expressed or demonstrated. Tears are the
rare jewels of my soul seeping out unbidden.
Originally written: September 16, 1998
- The above is still true today. As an explanation, I
grew up in a family where tears were not tolerated
for physical illness or pain. “If you are going to cry,
go to your room,” were the words I heard. Other
words were, “We don’t have time for this. Get on
with it.” or “That did not hurt that much.” So, each of the
brothers learned to “suck it up” and get the job done. The
words “I love you.” or “I am proud of you.” were not heard
in the 18 years I lived at home.
- Please do not take these words as condemnation or even
negative thoughts about my childhood. These are just facts of
what daily life was. I did not grow up in an abusive or bad
environment. Each of the brothers have said, “I know I can
handle any situation that comes my way. It was a tough way to
grow up, but it prepared me to succeed in life.” We were poor
and we did a lot of things other kids did not. We dug the ditch
from the well to beneath the kitchen to bring water inside. We
lived in a suburb of Milwaukee, WI and had outside plumbing.
I held my young brother’s feet and lowered him down into
the well casing while he was holding the pipe elbow in place
so that my other brother screwed a second pipe into that pipe
elbow. There was only the thought this was something we had
to figure out how to do. Yes, I was careful. Yes, to this day
he still teases me about that day 50 years ago. We dug and
filled in several outhouse pits and moved the outhouse to the
new location. I had to fill one hole in on Friday after school
before I could go on a date. I chuckle remembering the
- I project from this childhood that nourishment in the form
love demonstrated and poignant moments are especially endearing.
Thus, the tears flow. So, I enjoy the rough and tumble of
boxing, football, rugby as well as “chick flicks.”