There is too much to do.
The list is endless
I take one item at a time.
Avoiding the guilty feelings,
About all that is undone.
I awake each day with excitement
And sleep each night exhausted.
Yes, there is too much to do.
Each day is an accomplishment.
Originally written: April 12, 2000
Life is filled with too much to do. I have found that
depression can be the result of guilt related to “The
List of To Do’s.” The list will always exist, even after
we are gone. I have found that separating myself from
ownership of the list brings moments of guilt free
living. I strive not to feel guilty that the list is so very
long. Many of the items on the list have been there
for what seems forever. Yes, I have changed the format
of the list too many times to count. From A, B, C
priorities to important, read now, must do and other
schemes to control the list and the associated guilt
that comes by not completing the items on the list.
It is letting the list be just a list and not feeling guilty
that every waking moment I am attacking the items
on the list to reduce the list. Oh yes, I do work on
the list when it suits me not when the guilt tells me to.
Now, I must say there was a day, a week, a month
and even several years when the list was all important.
However, I found the effort unsatisfying and not
rewarding. It got to be a treadmill going faster and
faster as I warmed up to the tasks.
I now have fun and smile at the list and tell it; “Wait
for me! I will be there soon, chuckle-chuckle.”