Tag Archives: personal philosophy

Truths Dreams and Hopes

Our truths
Define our personal reality.

We must be on guard
Against our own fanaticisms,

It is an intolerance
For other’s reality.

It is the lack of respect
For other’s realities.

That we create
The destructive forces.

That can overwhelm us
And will rebound against us.

Our truths
Limit our realities, our lives.

Our truths may
Define our reality.

Our dreams may
Define our future.

Dreams provide us hopes
Even in the most dismal circumstances.

Our hopes
Define our needs.

Hopes provide us the ability
To overcome catastrophes.

Without our dreams and hopes
We are overwhelmed by life’s dramas.

We need our dreams and hopes
To be happy, to be sad.

We need our truths
To experience life to the fullest.

Originally written: June 20, 2002

Desires are Desires

Desires are desires.
You can intellectually desire,
Or emotionally desire.

I have found
Which I am
Likely to feel
And succeed.

When I emotionally desire
Emotion is a stronger force
Than intellectual forces.

Desires are driving
Forces in my life.

I wonder if
I can trace
This all back
To guilt trips.
Originally written:  August 6, 2000

Desires can be intellectually or emotionally based. 
I have found which helps more often lead to success for me.
Then a thought crossed my mind.  Was this all related
back to the emotions felt when I was growing up and
felt guilty and unworthy.  Emotions were very strong.

I Wonder

An old family picture

I wonder
On this day
And others,

What gifts
My parents
Left me.

From my father,
I am goal oriented
Pragmatic and a politician.

Oh yes!
I am stubborn
As a concrete post.

From my dear mother,
I am grace and faith filled,
Artistic and generous.

And yes!
I am thankful
And lovingly romantic.

I am very lucky!!

Originally written:  May 15, 2000
Mothers Day was Sunday, May 14th in 2000. Mother passed away in
October 1976. My Mother-in-law passed away in July 1991.  My Dad
died in January 1975. My Father-in-law died in November 1982. Mothers
Day in our family is a well celebrated event with family gathering to share
a meal and a day of stories, teasing, and games.  It was also sharing the
chores of cooking and cleaning up afterward.  It is a family tradition and in a
way a family ritual. It has been a ritual building family relationships of
understanding and patient endurance.

On Mothers Day it was natural to reflect on family and what gifts were
passed down. and the prose above. The words rattled around in my mind
all day.  By the next day they just begged to be written down in my journal.
They were written down just this way, as if the words were indelible.   The
were no corrections or word changes.  Eleven years later, I would still make
no changes. 

Yes, I am very lucky!

I Miss You

I miss you
My heart sings out.

It was that last
Hurried kiss.

It was a promise,
A promise of more.

I miss you
My dearest.

It was that last,
Treasured cuddle.

It was a promise,
A promise of more.

I miss you
My heart calls out.

Originally written:   April 12, 2000

I was working for a large computer company and traveling a lot. 
Traveling to far off distant places can be adventurous and fun when
the traveling first begins.  After a time it began to wear on me.  Asking
other travelers I found the fun and adventure wear off and it became
a stressful event.  Leaving a loved one creates a hunger and yearning
to be home to fulfill the promise.

Now I Lay Me Down

As I prepare for sleep
I am reminded of the Great Sleep.

When sleep overtakes me,
It is a void, a blankness.

A form of my thoughts,
Are of the Great Sleep.

Then, dreams in black and white,
And drama in vivid colors visit.

Now I lay me down,
My head dents my goose down pillow.

The sheets and covers cold and chilly,
Warm to a nice snuggly place.

To sleep, to dream,
To rest, to re-energize.

Dear Lord, if  I should die,
Passing over to be with family

Before I wake,
And the sun rises on a new day.

I pray my Lord,
On bended knee with humble heart.

My soul to keep,
Drawing me close ever more.

Amen, Amen!
Yes, so be it now and forever.

Originally written:    March 21, 2011

As I drifted off to sleep I said my nightly prayers and slipped into
meditation, I was struck with the thought I was about to willingly
relinquish my conscious thought processes and enter a world of
oblivion.  There was no guarantee I would return to the bright new
dawning of another day.  Yet each night of my life, sometimes eagerly
and sometimes reluctantly I have given myself over to this nightly
ritual.

Each night I trust and have faith all will be well and I will greet the
sunrise. Each night a miracle of sorts occurs.  I enter the nether
world of blankness and dreams.  I awake refreshed, repaired, and
anxious for new experiences. I am profoundly aware a portion of my
existence is outside of my control or conscious intelligence.  It is in the
“hands” of another.

There was a moment just before oblivion when a vagrant thought
entered my mind. A wondering whether there is emptiness or bliss in
the afterlife.   The thought turns into a minute time slice of reluctance
ended by faith in ageless sagas spoken in front of fires by ancestors.
These tales and beliefs passed down in oral and written forms have
become sacred to the various religions and sects.   Now, they fight
amongst themselves about the differences they have created.   The 
differences are of consequence only to themselves.

Too Much To Do

There is too much to do.
The list is endless

I take one item at a time.
Avoiding the guilty feelings,
About all that is undone.

I awake each day with excitement
And sleep each night exhausted.

Yes, there is too much to do.
Each day is an accomplishment.

Originally written:  April 12, 2000

Life is filled with too much to do.  I have found that
depression can be the result of guilt related to “The
List of  To Do’s.”    The list will always exist, even after
we are gone.   I have found that separating myself from
ownership of the list brings moments of guilt free
living.  I strive not to feel guilty that the list is so very
long.  Many of the items on the list have been there
for what seems forever.   Yes, I have changed the format
of the list too many times to count.  From A, B, C
priorities to important, read now, must  do and other
schemes to control the list and the associated guilt
that comes by not completing the items on the list.

It is letting the list be just a list and not feeling guilty
that every waking moment I am attacking the  items
on the list to reduce the list.  Oh yes, I do work on
the list when it suits me not when the guilt tells me to.

Now, I must say there was a day, a week, a month
and even several years when the list was all important.
However, I found the effort unsatisfying and not
rewarding.  It got to be a treadmill going faster and
faster as I warmed up to the tasks.  

I now have fun and smile at the list and tell it;  “Wait
for me!  I will be there soon, chuckle-chuckle.”

An End and A Beginning

 The days of 2010 have been put behind us,
The year filled to overflowing with memories.

Good, bad and even some mediocre,
Days sometimes filled with stress and anxiety.

Jobs lost for many mamas and papas,
Even single gents and ladies weren’t immune.

Mortgage payments late and late again,
Eviction notices served, homes lost.

Homeless shelters filled to overflowing,
Food pantries emptying faster and faster.

Young men and women leaving families,
Soldiers fighting in far off lands.

Unknowns strapping on bombs,
Or sending bombs to terrorize all.

Yet hope remains,
Dented, but on the mend.

The yesterdays heroes and stars,
Are passing on to their just rewards.

The todays heroes and stars,
Striving to achieve and succeed.

Vote for Blah, Blah, Blah,
Don’t  vote for Nah, Nah, Nah.

Politics, here, there, and everywhere,
Wore many nerves very thin.

Vote for none of the above,
Became a favorite of some.

Signs of recovery late but welcome,
Bolstering hope just slightly.

All are hopeful, it is a new beginning,
Like the new year just beginning.

Each person expectant and hope-filled,
Searching and anticipation of reassurance.

Opportunities to succeed or fail,
Achievements accumulate each day.

New year days and months,
Filled with overflowing possibilities.

Like rivers, todays flow out into tomorrows,
Tomorrows flood into months to fill up a year.

If the new year is about to begin,
The collection of past years memories is complete.

Another year is creating new memories,
Each moment a precious gemstone.

Each a beautiful stone to be anticipated,
Kindly gathered and treasured.

I have a drawer full of last year’s precious jewels,
Many different colors, kinds, sizes and shapes.

Each gemstone unique, too precious to trade or sell,
Each stone represents success or failure, pleasure or pain.

Another collection of a year’s worth of memories  has begun,
Each moment will be precious.

That is not a promise of things to come,
But a recollection of gathering memories.

So begin your journey with anticipation,
And expectations of traveling an untraveled road.
Originally written:   December 15, 2010